What could the words “curmudgeon” and “doppelganger”
possibly have in common? Well, for me, these two words are delightful to both
tongue and ear. Go ahead, say them. I was also thinking that these two words
could have a significant relationship to me…that is until I actually looked
both up in Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary, Second Edition 1983.
The definition of “curmudgeon” that is of interest to me, is “a churlish or
cantankerous person”. And the definition of doppelganger closest to what I
thought it might be is, “the supposed ghost of a living person in his exact
likeness”. Knowing the definitions of “curmudgeon” and “doppelganger” certainly
opens up their possible application to me and my life.
Let’s take “curmudgeon” first. Now the older I get, the
older old is. So that should tell you that I’m no longer young, or only as old
as I feel while not looking in the mirror. I've met a lot of people in my
years. So, I’m not new to relationships. Very few people have I disliked
immediately. Most I’d call acquaintances…some more quickly passing than others,
and some I’m happy and proud to call friends, some closer than others. I think
I’m a curmudgeon.
Looked at the other way round, I’m seldom open and honest
about the people around me, like how I feel about them and what they do or say.
I don’t tell people that I think they’re jerks, liars or incompetent. And I
don’t hug and kiss easily either. I hope my friends know how much I care for
them even when I get irritated about something they say or do that I disagree
with. I don’t really care a lot what acquaintances say or do if it doesn't
pertain to me in some way. And I can get downright ugly with those few who
pretend to be my friend but whose behavior doesn't conform to any definition of
friendship that I know. In these cases my own behavior becomes a living
definition of cantankerous. For example, take one woman I know. She’s
intelligent, talented and has the gift of the gab and a wonderful sense of
humour. We share the same cause, parrots in need or at risk. I liked her
immediately and trusted her quickly. She said, “I can help you”. I said, ”Please
do”. Months later, I said to her, “I can help you”. She said, “I don’t want you
or your help”. I’m sure I’m a curmudgeon with her now.
Now that brings me to the word “doppelganger”. Oh, how I
hope there is such a thing. I admit that it does sound, literally and
figuratively, too good to be true. Just think, if I do indeed have a
doppelganger, while it does one thing, I can do another. While I sit at home in
front of the fire with a good book and, even better a snifter of B&B, my doppelganger
can be out there spooking the daylights out of those friendly non-friends. What
a lovely image that brings to my mind. While I’m not permitted to visit the
parrots at The World Parrot Refuge anymore, my doppelganger could visit at will
and do what I used to do, hand out treats, referee disagreements, provide some
spray baths and do some grooming…and without paying an admission fee as well.
Most people, friends, acquaintances and…you know, those
others, will find me polite and civil albeit often impatient and cantankerous…
a true curmudgeon. But so far it’s just wishful thinking that makes the word
“doppelganger” so attractive to me. But they truly are delightful to both
tongue and ear anyway.
